Tappy hated trees.

Tappy was OK with
monster trucks, and
demolition derbies, and
the mid-Atlantic.

But he hated trees.

Tappy hated trees so much that he bought a chainsaw, broke into a private residence, cut down the biggest tree he could find, took it home, lathed it into the shape of a monster truck, and rode it to the demolition derby.

He did this on Arbor Day.

Tappy never made it to the demolition derby.
Tappy never even made it home.

Tappy was arrested because Queen Oprah was a vindictive treehugger billionaire
who called the cops after seeing him cut down the biggest tree in her yard.

Tappy went to trial.
He pleaded innocent.

"I didn't do it," Tappy pleaded,
"but I hate trees, and I hate
Arbor Day, and I haven't known
Queen Oprah very long, but
I think I hate her too!"

The prosecutor countered:
"Trees are definitely more important than people."
The prosecutor's logic was invincible.

Tappy went to jail.

Queen Oprah made money on the trial.
Queen Oprah bought a private jet.

When Tappy got out of jail, he still hated trees, so he ate raw poultry everyday for a month. He knew this wasn't healthy, and he knew that poultry wasn't technically a tree, but he didn't care. It was his private way of "sticking it to the man."

Tappy got conjunctivitis and died.

Ninja trees crashed the funeral and stole the body.

The ninja trees brought Tappy's corpse to a recycling depot.

Tappy's corpse was recycled,
then sold to a major aviation
firm that routinely used
post-consumer waste in the
fuselage of their private jets.

Queen Oprah bought a private jet,
but on its maiden voyage,
it crashed over the mid-Atlantic.

Tappy got Arbor Day vengeance.

Queen Oprah probably
died in the crash.