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Never have I seen a man wield a crowbar so confidently. Look, just look at his Hazardous Environment Suit. I bet there's a flashlight in there. And when he cuts his finger peeling potatoes, a voice says "Minor lacerations dectected," and quite possibly, "Morphine administered." Check out that crazy looking "L" on his chest. I bet it stands for something awesome, like "laser", or "Londonderry", or "ladybug".
But what's with all these people ragging on him for what happened in the test chamber that day? It wasn't his fault! The Administrator had assured the good folks at Anomalous Materials that nothing would go wrong. He was just doing his job. It's not like he planned on being indirectly responsible for the resonance cascade that resulted in the deaths of countless numbers of innocent people.
Anyway, he's my hero, even though he makes a terrible date. Like the other day we're at Schlotsky's, and I say, "Hey Gordon, why did you used to keep a battery in your locker at work?" No response. Then I'm like, "Well, do you want to catch a movie later?" He doesn't say anything for ten seconds, and then I hear this female voice say, "Automatic medical systems engaged." What the heck is that supposed to mean?!?!?
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