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ON THE MERITS OF A UNIVERSITY EDUCATION Two old friends, University Learning and Impromptu Reflection, were standing outside and talking on a sunny July afternoon. Although the two friends had known each other since childhood, they went separate ways out of high school and had fallen out of touch. This, briefly, is an account of their past few years. After high school graduation, University Learning (UL, for short) had enrolled in one college after another, collecting degrees like a skilled thief collects wristwatches. His most recent heist was a Ph.D. in Applied Linguistics from the University of Southern Pennsyl-Fornia. At USP-F, University Learning was consistently at the top of his class. He devoured academic journals and wrote several top notch papers, including his brilliant dissertation—"Periphrastics and the Occlusion of Hermeneutics, and Gender Studies: A Reading." UL was a terrific student because he understood the nature of liberal education. The proper role of the university, he learned, was not to provide an atmosphere of learning for a generation of young scholars. Rather, the university functions best as a sort of weapon, a poleaxe with which to cut up and stun one's political opponents. Appropriately armed and having just graduated, UL went home for the summer to see his family and catch up with old friends. After high school, Impromptu Reflection (IR), the other friend, spent a year and a half at the local community college before dropping out. He studied general science but never really got into it. He's presently a bus driver for the city. And now, an excerpt from the conversation they shared that afternoon. University Learning: It is wrong to attempt to teach others through language. Impromptu Reflection: Huh? UL: Communication is inherently underhanded, perhaps even dangerous. IR: ... UL: Is it even possible to ask questions anymore? IR: Dude. UL: Words do not exist. IR: Dude, shut up. -murrayjames 07/24/08 |