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SWEET LIKE THAT My friend has financial troubles. I offered him $50 to come to last night's party and punch me in the face. I was serious—if he could punch me in the face, I'd pay him fifty dollars. An hour later he's out there, shadowboxing on the front lawn. I wave to him. He ignores me. He goes on punching air. Eventually he comes over, fists clenched, and gives me a hug instead. He's sweet like that. This party was packed with Asian women, pretty ones. In my excitement I ran outside in my sock feet and rolled my ankle. God, it hurt so bad. So I call up my girlfriend in China. I try to tell her about the Asians at this party. She's more interested in my ankle. She tells me to take better care of myself. To pay attention when I'm walking around, to not get distracted, and to see a doctor, or at least take Advil for the pain. She's sweet like that. I'm in Texas. So I went to church this morning. The service was nice, and afterward while going up to meet the pastor I stepped on the bad side of my freshly busted foot and collapsed into the shoulder of a giant man I didn't know. The guy was like 6'4", 280 pounds, and Texan. He looks down at me. "I got you, brother." So I gave him a hug. I'm sweet like that. -murrayjames 06/15/09 |