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WHAT CAUSES DÉJÀ VU I just moved in with my brother. His house is a block away from a gas station where I used to work. That was eight years ago—the summer of 2001. I walked by this gas station last night. I went inside. It all looked familiar: the young employees, the car wash bays, and stairs leading up to the manager's office. I noticed that our aisle of potato chips was in the exact place it was before. So was the cash register. It was exactly as I remembered it. What was missing, though, was a sense of déjà vu. I went into the store expecting something. Not just some familiar memories. But a feeling of significance attached to those memories. I spent a whole summer working at this gas station. Isn't it odd that I'm here eight years later and feel nothing? (I guess the job wasn't that memorable.) As I was leaving the property, I passed a large propane tank on my right. I stepped, ready to jump, onto a piece of cement at the edge of the property. Suddenly I stopped. This was the same piece of cement I had jumped from after work one day. I remember that jump. It was Friday and I had a date with a girl that night. I left work in a flourish. Out the front door. Past the propane tank. Not paying attention. The drop was small, but I landed funny and rolled my ankle. So last night, standing on that piece of cement. Déjà vu from the summer of 2001. What was the cause behind it? Was it because I hurt myself? Was it because I had a date that night? Did my job suck? I have a new job now. A new girl. My ankle is fine. Everything has changed, but I'm telling you—last night at the gas station, standing there on cement at the edge of the property. I had déjà vu and couldn't shake it. It was powerful for no good reason. I wanted to live it again. So I made the jump (carefully) and went on my way. -murrayjames 11/14/09 |